cathy1967

I just got a call from Adecco in Ireland and it turns out they want a network specialist ... which I cannot claim to be. But he did promise to keep my information and asked that I send him my CV too. Maybe, in future, there will be something like that again, an opportunity to get out of this country for a bit ... or forever. Who knows, right? Besides, I really do wanna go to Scotland instead. Now, if I could find a job there ... that would be a match made in Heaven. *g*

The more I think about it, the more I want to self-publish. Is that silly? If I do choose to go that way, I think I need to spend the money on an editor. But how do you choose on when it's said that most editors don't accept work from others than agents? *sighs* Why is this business so difficult? *g* I don't want to publish a sub-par book. I don't want to throw it out there and expect people to pay for it only to realize that it's not good English or there are too many mistakes in it. I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my work and I feel flustered and downright ashamed when I realize that a story I published long ago is full of mistakes.

Right. First things first. My site has been hacked and I need to replace the software yet again. I think I'm going to take the tough road here and follow the replace-as-you-go guideline posted on Joomla's site. And then I am going to do backups of my site every frigging time I make any changes. Hell, I think I'll set it up so I get an automatic backup of the site every day so I can just replace it with a former copy instead of having to go through this horror of a setup every time. *sighs* Why can't people just leave my site alone? It's not like I'm making any money of it. Or bothering anyone with it. Jeez. Hack a company instead. That must be a challenge.

I hate hackers. I really do.

It's no secret. I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately and it is starting to take its toll.

And then I read the thoughts of a good friend on her travails and suddenly I feel downright silly for whining about my life. I've got a roof over my head, a job, food to eat, my pets, my spare time and no one to worry about but myself. I don't have a sick husband or a mentally challenged kid or a parent with Alzheimer. I don't have to worry about where my next meal comes from or if I'll be able to pay the rent next month (not yet at least. *g*). So what do I really have to be unhappy about?

Yeah, I'm overweight. But that can be dealt with if I really put my mind to it.

Yeah, I have an old cat. But that's life. Besides, he's doing fairly good right now, so no worries on that front yet.

Yeah, I've got a totally dysfunctional family, but ... honestly? ... all I have to do is avoid them and things don't look so bleak.

Step 1: The first step on the road to mental recovery (because that's really all it is right now for me) is my weight.

Step 2: Is figuring out where I want to go with that book. Maybe I should go for self-publishing? I'm not sure yet. I'll give it until the end of the year to find an agent and then we'll see.

Step 3: Either I have to come to grips with the fact that I'm being forced into work assignments I do not feel comfortable with or I have to find a new job. It'll probably end with the latter. Maybe I should apply for that gig in Ireland. It pays well. It may not be the most enticing job (IT phone support), but it pays well and it would allow me to relocate to a country where the taxes are very favorable (20%) and the cost of living compared to Copenhagen is very low. I'll have to give that some thought.

There's lots to think about. I have a long weekend ahead of me (Monday is a holiday here). Hopefully my mom will leave me alone long enough for me to come to decision about where I want to go with my life.

Better late than never, eh?

Since hitting menopause, hot weather is not my favorite. And it's hot today. For Denmark, at least. 77F or 25C (and it feels like more, really) and I'm melting already. Fortunately, they've predicted slightly lower temps over the next few days, which makes me sigh with relief. Most of all I want to sit in a tub of ice water right around now. I don't do water on a bigger scale (I can swim. I'm just not a fan), so the temptation of going swimming this afternoon is definitely not there, although the allure of the cold water is. But I can get cold water out of the tap at home. If I feel this way when I get home (namely super hot and uncomfortable) I'll consider that a very viable option.

Phew ... I need t cool down. Maybe I should just buy some icecream on the way home and eat that. That usually cools me down pretty quick.

I've decided to clean up my posts and be a little more upbeat about things. I'm making myself depressed here. :D

I'm going to go through my old posts and see which ones are suitable for public consumption and then slap them back out there. The rest ... well, they still exist, but ... I may end up deleting them. All this negativity serves no purpose.

*waves*

I've just e-mailed my first submission out to a potential agent. Let's see how that pans out. I'm not expecting a yes from the first one, but wouldn't it be a blast? *g*

I'm tickled, to be honest. A bit jittery. A bit ... *ooohhh* Two weeks I have to wait. Or rather, if I don't hear from them within two weeks ... anyway ... I'll deal with whatever comes my way. If I don't find an agent before the end of the year, I'll try self-publishing. There are a lot of potential new authors out there, after all.

Anyway, good luck to anyone who's trying. Keep your fingers crossed.

Uh ... okay ... yeah, I'm a bit anxious. But in a good way. *g*

I have today put together my query letter for a potential agent. *g* Who knew writing a letter could be scary. Even while looking for jobs I wasn't this anxious. Then again, this is a big deal. Anyone wants the pros to endorse their stuff, right? Yeah, me too. So, now I just need to be perfectly happy with the manuscript ... okay, if I have to wait for that, I'll never get it out the door. I'll settle for reasonably happy. That will do the trick. Besides, if it is accepted, it will probably be edited anyway, so ...

I want this to be perfect. Or rather ... as good as it can possibly be. Perfection is an illusion, after all. At least in my humble opinion it is. :D So, yeah, I will do the best I can with what I have and if that doesn't pan out, I can still self-publish. It would just make me so proud if I could get this published through an agent. It would make me think that at last I've discovered something I'm good at rather than just adequate.

Funny, a good friend of mine recently said that maybe I should self-publish first and then find an agent for the second round. Because then I could actually say that I have a published book that I've been paid for under my belt. Hmm ... decisions, decisions, decisions. I'm not good at that. I'm fickle. I can't make up my mind.

Okay, I'm rambling. I need to go home. I need to think this through. I need to clean my house. I need ... aw hell. I'll just take one step at a time and stop going into overdrive. Doesn't help anyway. :)

The plan for the evening:

1. Walk the dog
2. Do the shopping
3. Hang the laundry (I love washing machines with delayed start)
4. Tidy up a bit (can't do the big stuff since I'm not home til 6.30 and before I get done with points 1-3, it'll be after 8 and no way am I bugging my neighbors by vacuuming then)
5. Sit down and think this through. It's time to put aside my living-in-the-present and start planning a bit.

Let's see how much of this I get done today. *g*

I just went to meet a friend to go watch John Carter (loved it, by the way. It's just the right kind of mindless dribble that makes my day) and the weather is amazing. Summer is coming. Yay!

All the dribble of the past many months seems irrelevant and stupid on a day like this. It's amazing what good weather does for your mood, isn't it? And hanging out with old friends who actually understand you. *g*

Technically, I should have been working my butt off all day to finish my preparations for the family visit next month, but then again ... it's a beautiful day and I really can't be bothered to do anything constructive today. I think I may relocate to my balcony and grab a little sunshine while it's here.

Technically speaking, there should have been a Phase 1 - Writing, but I didn't think about that at the time. :)

So, yeah, now I'm editing. And I've started looking around for an agent too. *L* We'll see. I'm not getting my hopes up. It's a tough business and there is a lot of Sci-Fi out there, so unless I've discovered something unique (pfttt. Yeah, right!), it's gonna be one hell of an uphill climb.

I do have other options, of course. I could self-publish. And if I completely fail at finding anyone who might be interested ... well, then I'll try that. But I would love to find someone professional to help me along here. :) If for nothing other than the editing-process. Yeah, I'm editing myself and I have a beta on the job as well (hi, Dee *waves*), but still. Rereading old stories, it always strikes me how many mistakes I find despite having been vigilant and attempting to catch them all. But they seem to multiply if you wait long enough. *g*

I'm 50 pages into this massive 500-odd page thing (when you spread it out so you can actually write between the lines, it gets sooooo big) and it's kinda fun. But there hasn't been one page yet where I haven't made changes. So it's a big job, but it's fun. I'm enjoying the creativity behind it.

Phase 3 will probably be finding an agent.

Right ... I'd better get back to work here. *sighs* I wish I could write for a living. What a wonderful job that would be; to get paid for submerging myself in my favorite pastime? Couldn't get much better than that.

I'm a bit in awe today. Just a bit. On November 1, I started writing my novel for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and today, almost four months later, I added the words THE END to it. So, yeah, I'm in awe. *g* Four months ago I would have told anyone willing to listen that sure, I would like to write my own stuff, but I just don't think I have it in me. I've written fan-fic for so long now ... and it's hard work to come up with your own characters ... blah-blah-blah.

Can I tell you a secret? It's really not that hard. I had this idea that for me to write original fiction, I would have to sit down and invent the characters first, find out who they were and where they came from and where they wanted to be in five years. Heck, I don't even know where I want to be in five years. I have ideas, ambitions, but I don't know.

Funny thing is ... I had no idea who this story was about until about halfway through the book. And by then I wasn't entirely sure I liked the guy. I do now, but he has sides to him that I don't like. *L* Then again, if I wanted Mr. Perfect, I would have written about Prince Charming. *L*

So, now comes the editing phase. That should hopefully not take too long, but I need to be awake and aware when I do it, so I don't really see it happening on weekdays. I think I'll dedicate the next few weekends to this, but for now, I'll take a week off. Whatever will I do now?

Well, there are some fanfics that have been clamoring for attention, so I think I may dive into those and take my mind completely off this tale until I deem it ready to be dug out and edited.

Until then ... yipiiiii!

As some of you know I've written fan-fic since the world was young. It feels that way sometimes. I'm 44 and I started writing around the time when I was 10 or 11. It's been an ongoing process. :)

So now, for the very first time ever, I'm writing an original novel. I've written original fic before, but it was tiny and it was ... well, it could have been better and it most certainly could have been ... less campy? *g*

Anyway ... I'm writing and it's going well. I'm close to the finish line. Once it's done, I'll let it simmer for a bit, then I will reread to see what I missed the first time around. And then I will try and have it published. Just for the hell of it. And who knows? I may have finally found my place in life. *g* Better late than never, right?

So, I can't help wondering how others work when they write. I've read posts by a few authors about the writing process, have read a book by my favorite author on this subject too, and it's very clear that there are as many different ways of approaching a story as there are fish in the sea. I'm sure there are categories that everybody fits into, but writing is a very individual thing. Some can't write without having a full outline. Some can't write if they do have a full outline. Some research until they're blue in the face before even writing a single word while others take it along the way or don't research at all, depending on the subject matter.

I've learned that I write best if I just jump into the story head first and then figure out if I can swim.

For fan-fiction it's always an urge to see something continued or something explored that the movie/tv-show/book didn't touch on. It can also be brought on by an idea I've had of where they could be going, but didn't go. Mostly, I think, it's the need to know what comes next that drives me to write fan-fic.

Now, original fiction is different there. At least this first plunge into the depth has seen a different approach. I am a seat-of-the-pants type of author. No doubt there. But I had to approach this differently than I would fan-fic. After all ... I didn't know the characters up front. I had no idea who Kyle was when I started writing. I joined NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) last year in November and for the first time in the three years I've been a member, I finally managed to get around to participating seriously. I had a vague idea what the story could be about. And I just started from there. And it grew. And grew. And grew. And it's still growing after 223 pages and 109,000 words. That's about novel length.

So now, after that many pages, I think I know who Kyle (my lead character) is and what he stands for even if he's not too sure about it himself. I've gotten to know him, know things about his past and childhood he might not want me to know. It's funny how a lead character of your own design takes on a life of his or her own. Kyle is the sort of guy I don't really know if I would like or not. Well, knowing what I know about him, yes, I like him. But if I met a guy like him and knew nothing about him, I don't think I would like him, no. It's a weird duality.

Now that I'm the narrator of his story (actually, he's telling it, not me. I'm just writing what he tells me to), I can both like and dislike him at the same time.

It's just a funny thing to reflect on, this writing-business. A lot of people out there don't consider being an author a 'real' job. I think it is. It's just that it's this absolutely fabulous type of jobs; the one you actually like. If I could live off writing ... man, that would be heaven. Can I? I have no idea. Only time will tell. I love to write, some people seem to like what I write, so why not share it with them? And, hey, if I can't sell it, I can always post it as an e-book online, right? :) Maybe someone will read it and be kind enough to comment on it too. :)